Martha Widawer

I’m not sure what kind of role I play in your online life, so I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been away for a while. I’ve had to reprioritize. A few months ago, my mother, Martha Widawer, was diagnosed with a metastasis of a kidney cancer she originally had five years ago. Back […]

I’m not sure what kind of role I play in your online life, so I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been away for a while.

I’ve had to reprioritize.

A few months ago, my mother, Martha Widawer, was diagnosed with a metastasis of a kidney cancer she originally had five years ago. Back then, her kidney was removed and we thought the cancer was gone. When the scans in May showed spots, she knew it was bad.

My sisters and I have been caring for her.

She passed away Saturday night, surrounded by me, my two sisters, several of her grandchildren, her sister Betsy, and my mother’s long-time loving companion Sam.

Her funeral was Tuesday.

I loved my mother deeply and if you have a moment, I’d love for you to know a little about her, and learn what a wonderful, smart, warm, generous and funny person she was. If you’d care to read the Eulogy that I wrote and read for her at her service, you’ll find below.

One other thing…

Cancer is a killer that causes immeasurable pain and suffering. I’ve now lost both my parents, my Aunt Eva and Uncle Eddie, Uncle Carl, Cousin Kenny, Aunt Lilo, and Cousin Alexis to different kinds of cancer. And cancer nearly claimed my wonderful Auntie Betsy. Please support the fight against cancer by making a donation in our mother’s name, Martha Widawer, or the name of someone you love, to this aggressive cancer research foundation:

Click here: Phase One Foundation

When you make a donation online, which can be as little as $10, please ask the system to send a note to me at this address: formartha (at)

I am grateful to you.

Mark Widawer

P.S. I’ll be easing back into helping you succeed with your online business next week some time. My world is a bit upside down at the moment, and I’ll be busy settling her affairs for many months or longer. I appreciate your patience and support.

My Mother, Martha S. Widawer, Ph.D.

Dear Mom,

I think the most wonderful thing you’ve ever said to me, besides the I Love You’s I got every day, was something you said about 3 weeks ago. You said that I got the best parts of you, and the best parts of dad.

Thank you so very much for giving me so many of the best parts of you. I hope I can live up to the legacy that you’ve created.

You are generous beyond compare. I always found it hard to outright ask you for something, but your strong intuition allowed you to read me like a book, and know what I wanted or needed without my asking.

And maybe my occasional hints helped, too.

But that’s not really the point, because when any of your children or grandchildren needed or wanted something, it created a real, physical pain in you that could only be cured by giving.

And it wasn’t always the giving of things, but the giving of stories, of wisdom, or time, of experience, or your presence.

Or most preciously, your hugs and kisses.

You showered my children with love and affection, even when they were stricken with the childhood shyness that I must have passed down to them. And you were so proud, OH SO PROUD of them all.

I know that our more conservative religious practices often perplexed you, but I think that they meant the world to you when you saw what they created. You kvelled at Bradley’s Bar Mitzvah — he did so well! I’m so, so sad that you won’t be kvelling with us here on Earth for Hannah and Max’s coming of age.

Hannah said to me in the car the other night that she is sad about that, too. She wanted you there at her Bat Mitzvah.

As her Bat Mitzvah project, Hannah had already planned to donate her long hair to Locks of Love, a charity that makes wigs for victims of cancer. Her donation will now be doubly meaningful since it will be in your memory.

Today, as this room is filled with your friends and relatives, I am thinking about one of your greatest joys — when we would all get together as a family. You always encouraged us to be together, and to make memories together. When I was younger, I had a hard time doing that. Now, it’s much easier, and just part of my life.

And it’s the sweetest part of life. I learned that from you.

It makes days like this much more bearable.

So I promise that we’ll continue to be together, even though the center of our family, the middle of all our world, is now missing. But you left a gravity behind that will bind us, and keep us together, close, and warm, thinking of you.

I promise, in your honor.

I also want to thank you for the relationship you created with Marlene. You so often treated her like one of your own, showering her with affection and love. And I am particularly thankful that you have shared your recipes with her — recipes that I grew up with, that I love so much. She’s turned into quite the cook, because of your inspiration and teaching.

Through your food, you will be with us forever.

Thank you, Mom, for bringing your lovely Sam into our lives. For the last 18 years, Sam became part of our family. A kinder and gentler man you’ll never meet. And a man that we’ve long ago adopted as our "Poppa Sam".

Thank you, Sam, for taking such wonderful care of my mother. I promise we’ll take excellent care of you, too.

I’ve got to tell you, Mom, that one of your last acts may turn out to be one of your most precious and memorable to me. During the last months of your life, your little puppy Sasha was by your side, bringing you joy in the face of sadness, energy as you became weaker, and a wagging tail and a licking tongue to take away your own aches and pains.

It means so very much that you’ve asked me to take care of Sasha for you. I truly feel as though she’s a little bit of you that you’ve left with us. I can’t tell you how much comfort she’s already given us. And how much my whole family loves her. She’s so very YOU, Mom.

You’ve taught me many things, mom. And one of them was to laugh.

Now, you made us all promise not to tell jokes on this day, so we won’t. But we can’t tell your story without including so many parts that made us smile…occasionally on purpose. Often accidentally.

"    Like the time you and I coincidentally ended up at the very same place, and as we were walking out you asked "are you parked where I’m parked?" as though I had ESP or a spy camera.

"    Or the time when you went to a restaurant with Michelle, and after looking at the menu you commented, "I wonder what local salad dressing tastes like." Of course, what it reall said was "low cal".

"    Having learned your lesson about "low cal" foods, how about that time up in San Luis Obispo when you asked about the "low cal" fish that were caught just off the pier. The sign actually said, "local".  

"    Michelle likes to tell the story about when you asked her for a paper bag. "What kind of paper bag?" Michelle asked. And you said "The plastic kind."

"    And on Sam’s 83rd birthday, we had bought these candles in the shape of a number 8 and a number 3. You looked at the candles on the cake and said the numbers were upside down.

"    Or the time I called you on your cell phone and asked "where are you?", and you said you were at Costco. Okay, that’s not so funny because you were always at Costco.

"    But it was funny when you called me on my home phone, and you asked "Where are YOU?" I was at home, Mom.

Mom, you gave us endless joy, whether you meant to, or not, and we’ll always talk about your hundreds of Martha-isms to bring us up when we’re feeling down. 

The ultimate Martha-ism, of course, is Costco. Costco is such a big part of you that we were going to make it a part of your final resting place. You might not have known this, but Costco sells caskets.

That simple fact made us all laugh out loud.

How perfect would it be to send you on your way in your own private little Costco. It didn’t work out though — unlike the hot dogs there, the caskets aren’t kosher.

But you should be comforted to know that you paid for part of today’s expenses with your Costco Amex card.

You taught me a lot, mom. But I’ve got a feeling that the biggest lessons you’ve taught me won’t become apparent until much later in my life.

You’re a gift that will keep on giving.

And I am hoping, Mom, that your many friends and relatives here will tell us all about their own stories of you, and the Martha-isms that they know about first-hand. I am certain there is much that I do not know.

Before I end this letter to you, Mom, I want to publicly thank Marla. You gave your children all we could ever ask for and never asked a thing in return.

But Marla, in particular, gave you back 100-fold in your final days. Maybe 1000-fold. 

She was by your side every day and every night during every hospital stay, at every chemotherapy appointment, and every radiation appointment, except for one when her own baby boy was ill, and needed her too.

Marla waited on you hand and foot, attended to your every need, was your advocate with the doctors and nurses, and your guardian and watchdog every step of the way.

Your baby girl would not leave your side.

Marla was a superstar and your own personal angel, and I’m indebted to her forever for the care she gave you. I want the world to know. 

She’s quite a woman. And so is Michelle. The two of us followed Marla’s lead in caring for you these last few months.

You’ve given a lot to all three of us, and all eight of your granchildren. You’ve given us a lifetime of happiness, generosity, security, and love.

And that’s why it hurts so bad today, Mom, to not have you here with us, to not know your touch, your kiss, your hug.

Mom, if you must know, it only hurts so bad, now that you’re gone, because it felt so, so good when you were here.

We’ll miss you. I’ll miss you, more than you can ever know.

Mom, I hope one day to be parked where you’re parked. Until that day…

I Love you more today than yesterday.

Your Son,



Note to my readers: If this letter has touched you in any way, or if you’ve at all benefited by something you’ve ever read on my blog or in my products, if you have a friend or loved one who is suffering from cancer, or who was taken from you by cancer, please make a donation today to help fight cancer today.

Cancer is a bitch. We need it gone.

We’ve found that this organization, which my cousin Lenny is involved in, is creating cancer miracles.

Phase One Foundation

When you make a donation online, which can be as little as $10, please ask the system to send a note to me at this address: formartha (at)

Thank You.


62 replies on “Martha Widawer”

Hey Mark,

I can’t tell you how sorry I am to hear of your Mom’s passing.

My Mom moved in with us almost a year ago after an ugly divorce from my StepDad. She has Lupus and I have to cover most of her expenses, she’s been disabled for many years and doesn’t receive much money, just a few hundred dollars in disability. Once that’s gone, I take over.

Having her in my home has been hard at times, but we can’t imagine her being anywhere but with us.

I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her and feel your pain today.

Know that many of us love you and wish you and your family the best during this hard time.

Ross Goldberg

Ross Goldbergs last blog post..Direct Response Marketing 2.0 – My thoughts and review

Hi Mark,

Thanks for sharing this moving tribute to you Mom. I’m sure
she would be very proud and touched as well.

I’m so sorry for your loss. But how extremely blessed
and fortunate you’ve been to have had such a wonderful

That’s a legacy that will truly be with you and your family

I wish you and your family well as you heal from your loss.

Tina Lorenz



Hi Mark,

All my best wishes to you and yours.

I lost my dad to heart failure two years ago… a month before my baby boy was born – his first grandson.

The void left by a loved one’s passing never seems to close, really. I feel we mostly learn to live with it, doing our best to honor the departed’s memory.

Thank you for sharing your memories with us!

Eric Maziades last blog post..The new Secure-eBook Complete Solution


I’m sorry for your loss. No words can comfort in a time like this. I lost my dad to cancer 2 years ago and the whole left is a big one. Your mom would be proud of your eulogy.

In Christ.

Your deep love is evident as was hers toward you and your family. That gift will never go away and you made her living and dying bearable.

While you’ll never stop missing her, remember how proud she was of you. It soothes the soul.


Thank you Mark for sharing your pain and joy with us. You helped me remember the good times with my mom a week before what would have been her birthday. It’s been 6 yrs and I still miss her more than anyone I’ve ever known. Remember the joy and keep up the wonderful attitude of giving she instilled in you. Our prayers are with you and your family.

jimmyfoxs last blog post..Over 1.6 Billion Netizens – Global Marketing

I’m sorry to hear about your loss, and you and your family are in my prayers. I lost my dad a few years ago and I miss him every day.

I’m glad your mother emphasized the importance of families just being together, that is the key.

If your cousin Lenny is not familiar with the Combined Federal Campaign (CFC) have him send me an e-mail and I’ll be glad to share my special report about using the CFC for non-profit fundraising. (2008 results were just announced – $273 million to thousands of local, national and international non-profits).

With my sympathy,
Bill Huddleston
Fairfax, Virginia

Mark, Your tribute to your mom is beautiful and I only hope that when I go my kids will feel some of what you have expressed. I too have lost many family members to Cancer, including my 17 year old daughter. I, myself, am now facing a second masectomy because of it. May God heal your aching heart. Arlene Johnson

so sorry for you parents passed away both
of them kill by cancer. I know the way you feel ,i pass that stage of my life ,but you seem to be a lovely family and together with love ,you will pass through .You will always have your parents in your mind,you will remember them all your life long.Each day, when you wake up, thanks God for the love of your wife and yours kids,than
you must love so much.Iam a strong guy,when i read i was crying.God bless. Jacques

I was very touched by your eulogy for your mom, and I’m truly sorry for your loss. As I’ve lost both my parents, too, I couldn’t help but think that the great love you displayed for her was like the love I have for my Mom and Dad. Let’s pray that we’ll all be re-united some day with them.
Tom O’Boyle

Hello Mark,

Please accept my deepest condolences.

I wish that your pain will ease a little at the thought of all the friends that are so close to you in these hard times.

All the best,


Hey Mark,

I’m really sorry to hear about your mom.

My Grandma just passed in April. I was very close to her and really have found myself missing her a lot in the past weeks.

Thank-you for sharing your heart and your thoughts so openly, and for being someone whom others can look to as an example.

I’m sure you got those qualities from your mom too.

With deepest condolences,


Jonathans last blog post..The Prince’s Rainforests Project

Am very sorry,I know it is hardest thing to lose a mother,my prayer is that god should make her gentle soul rest in peace.

Hello Mark

Although I know anything said rarely helps at times like this, I truly wish I had some words to offer that would bring you some comfort. Please accept my most sincere condolences and a warm, brotherly e-hug in lieu of anything more meaningful.

Mark, in the course of our conversations, I have noticed some coincidental parallelism in our respective lives. After reading your story, I am now overwhelmed by the similarities. I lost my mother to cancer eight years ago. It was, without exception, the worst day of my life. Your story makes me believe our Moms were probably cut from similar, if not the same cloth. My friend, I promise that the day will come when you think of your mom and the normal mist in your eyes will change to a smile on your face. Even in Costco!

Due to cancer, I went from number five on the family totem pole to the grand patriarch of my family in just over six years. I have come to the conclusion that cancer is both the worst and “baddest” thing on the planet. Cancer makes both King Kong and Godzilla look like a couple of tea cup poodles.

Mark, I’d like to share with you one thing I believe and one thing I know. I believe that, if you are lucky, eventually the children become the parents. If you are lucky enough for everyone to live long enough, you get the opportunity to give back some of the unconditional care and love your parents first gave you. Both you and I were fortunate in that sense. This I firmly believe. I didn’t know your mom, but I do know she raised a very honorable, talented, considerate and compassionate man. Please take comfort in knowing that you honor her memory every day by simply being who you are.

Please know how much I respect and admire both you and your Mom. You, for being who you are. She, for making you who you are. My thoughts and best wishes are with you in this tough time.

Kindest regards,

Ted Cutshaw

Just pray for her !!! May God be with you and her.

It’s too tough to lose someone we love, but loosing someone’s mother is much more pain.

Never worry about the online stuff, we’ve been always supporting you and we’ll stay so take your complete time, and just think of the good things that make you feel better.

Pray for her 🙂

Oh, Mark, what a beautiful testament you wrote in honor of your wonderful MOM. How awsome that you had such a great parent all these years. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. God bless you Mark.

I send my deepest condolence to you and your family for your loss. Through your writing
we got a glimpse of the wonderful woman that your mother was and the large void that she will leave.
I wish you and your family love and peace

Robert E

Dear Mark,

Your eulogy was beautiful and brought to life in my mind the mother you lost to cancer.

I lost my dad to cancer two years ago and I’ve had it since 2000.

It is often easy to overlook small symptoms of this tireless adversary. I hope everyone who comes here will vow to have a complete physical this summer.

My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

Dear Mark,

I am sincerely pained to learn about your loss!

Your mother was a very special person, it seems. And not just to her children. But to everyone she came in contact with.

Am I exaggerating?

That’s just the impression and the picture I got of this unique person, as you so eloquently described her.

There is a lot of new research on the subject of cancer.

I did quite a bit of research and can share with you some very enlightening points that may save some of the people you know from this terrible disease.

To begin with, researchers gathered data of the world population with regards to cancer.

They discovered that as populations were closer to the North and South poles of the hemisphere, cancer was more rampant.

Whereas, the closer they got to the equator, cancer was less and less to be found.

At the equator itself the populations there, do not have cancer at all.

Another interesting study was done by the government of Japan.

The Japanese government was curious to learn why the population of Japan as a whole had cancer, while the population living in Okanawa did not have even one reported case of cancer.

This was a very curious piece of data.

The government there, learned in their research, that the people in Okanawa were drinking the water which is rich in calcium, due to the coral reefs in the Okanawa sea.

In Peru, researchers discovered a civilization where none of the members of that community had cancer.

What they also noticed when they were researching was – that the water these people drank was a milky color.

Well it turns out that the milky color turned out to be – rich calcium deposits.

The reason the cancer cell is so hard to fight, is because of an envelope that en-wraps the cell. it’s sort of like the protection of the cell.

It’s called a telemar.

And because the telemar in a cancer cell is so strong, it is nearly impossible to kill a cancer cell. So the cell lives indefinitely. As it does, its damage in the body of the host.

On Dec 26th or 29th ’06, (I don’t recall the exact date) CNN wanted to release the following headline “50% of all cancer can be healed” but it was hushed, by the powers that be. And never made it to the public.

The revelation was regarding the discovery of concentrated amounts of vitamin D as a means of treating cancer.

You see, a cancer cell in the face of concentrated amounts of vitamin D, or calcium, which is rich in vitamin D, can not live very long.

The telemar is destroyed within just 3 hours. And the cancer cell dies after another 3 hours.

A Canadian chemist, who announced this discovery, was challenged by the media and the press.

When confronted, he was asked “How he could make such bold statements without proof?!”

(I’m paraphrasing) – He replied, “You line up for me 1000 cancer patients with any kind of cancer. And I’ll heal every single one of them without a single one having cancer after I’m through!”

They never took him on.

The evidence is overwhelming.

Over 100 years ago after a tumor was removed the doctors would apply costic acid at the location of the tumor. There were never recurring tumors back then.

Today it is commonplace for a tumor to return.

Costic acid, although dangerous, is rich in calcium.

The moral of the story – Cancer dies in the face of rich amounts of calcium or vitamin D.

The sun causes the body to produce Vitamin D.

Another study I recall, was done on the Afro American segment.

Black people living in America die of cancer, more than white people do. This is a statistical fact that is easily verifiable.

Researchers were curious to learn then, why their cousins in Africa with the same genes as them, were unaffected by cancer at all.

It turns out that Black people living in the USA stay indoors more with the air conditioner on, and avoid the sun!

I hope this was meaningful to you. And I hope you use this information in the future to help the people you know.

Google “Brazil Coral Calcium”

Coral calcium from Brazil is richer than coral calcium from Okanawa. And you can get a bottle online for only $29.95.

I’m not a doctor. And this isn’t medical advice. But do the math for yourself. You’re a big boy, and understand exactly where I’m coming from.

Now on another note, regarding you…

I would like to recommend that you go online and visit a site of a good friend of mine.

The name of the site is

And it really should be a site that sells memberships for $1,000’s of dollars, because the information on their will literally blow you away!

But it happens to be absolutely free!

You can get a free membership just by submitting your information and email. And then go and download Shmuz #24 “Understanding Life Settings”

And listen to it on your I-Pod or burn it to a cd

This particular Shmuz (pronounced shmooze) will give you a very clear perspective to better understand why there is suffering.

And will give you the mental tools to better deal with anything that happens to you, from a genuine Torah perspective.

If you need to contact me regarding any questions you have about Judaism and its perspective on life and death, just drop me an email.

You have it on file already.

Anyway, I sincerely wish you the strength to deal with your pain and sorrow and wish you to be comforted amongst the mourners of Zion.

Be well my friend.

The Rabbi of Response

What a terrific eulogy, Mark. Your words tell a very important story…about your Mom, your family and you.

My Dad died four days before your Mom. He was born on the 9th day of the 9th month of 1909, so he lived 99 years and 9 months. What a niner!

Your words helped me think of some things I will say when I give his eulogy at his 100th birthday farewell celebration in September.

Thanks for being open and personal about your Mom. That makess you very real to all your followers out here in Internet land.

My deepest sympthies-I know how deep the sorrow goes-my dear mom passed 11 years ago,and-while the sharpest pain has gone-there isn’t a day goes by that I don’t somehow think of her and miss her. But, she lives on in my heart and soul, and your mom will too. God bless-

Dearest Mark,

My sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. But she must have been smiling and proud as she heard your eulogy. What a tribute!

Be grateful you had a chance to be with her towards the end and that you have so many beautiful memories. When my father passed over 5 years ago, I was in a hospital bed with complications from Multiple Sclerosis. I have always regretted not being at his side.

I had noticed that I hadn’t been getting any emails from you (everyone of which I save in a special file) but it is so understandable.

Your mother must have been very proud of your ability to teach and help people learn the intricacies of building a new business, especially in these financial times.

Peace be with you!

Your friend,

Hi Mark,

My condolences to you and your family. I know first hand how hard it is to cope with losing a parent, especially MOM. I lost my mom to lung cancer. It has been ten years (12-25-98), since her passing and it still hurts. Christmas has not been the same. But take comfort in all the wonderful times and things you shared with your mother. Do not take anything for granted. Keep the Faith and God Bless You!


Angela Oden
Chicago, IL


God speed to your mother and you know that one day you will be reunited with her, your mother is at peace now and you will aways have great memories of all the times with her, remember her for the great mom she was and the gifts she has passed forward in your family and friends.

Take Care

My condolences to you and your family.
I lost my mother on May 31th. It is a very hard to say goodby to someone that you love so much. My mother was 99 years old and I guess I will be missing her forever. I think of her alot. She was my best friend and we could talk about anything. I too spent a lot of time taking care of her. She had a stroke and was unable to comunicate but she knew we were there and she enjoyed seeing everyone who came to visit her. She recognized them and she lite up when her grandchildren and great grandchildren came to see her.
My mother wrote this some years ago.
God gave us life or death. I choose life. I will love God and clking to him. He is my light through the day. God will always be with me. I am never alone. God is our hope. He will see me thru every day by day. I am never alone. My delight is in the law of the Lord. I am sure my life will be blessed. He is with us through difficulty. He binds up our wounds. He loves us that much. He that dwelleth in the secret place of the almighty will experience the real life. Thru good and confusing days he is with us. When we are wounded he will heal us. God promises forgiveness and healing. Live with God daily and you shall come into the secret place of God and experience wonders. We have to live with awe and respect for our Lord. We might suffer some discomfort and pain, but will never suffer evil. And as things around us get old, ragged and tired, the word of God never changes, it is always the same, it is always the truth. God will always give his blessing if you put yourself into his hands. When it feels like you can’t endure any more, you know he is right here, praise and honor him My precious Lord and Savior. Don’t be afraid to ask for forgiveness, he hears and understands us. We have the promise of everlasting life. We must believe and have faith.

Sooooo sorry to hear about your wonderful mothers passing.
I can completely empathize because my amazing mother passed away from cancer 11 years ago at the age of 62 ( I was 34).
She was one of my best friends…incredibly kind, giving and hilariously funny. I still can’t get past the feeling that she was taken far too soon, but in the end, what gives me some comfort is that atleast I had a mother that was so worthy of my total admiration. Some people are not so fortunate.
Once again, my thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

Your friend,

Brian Esbaugh.


Please accept my gentle and loving thoughts for you and your family. What a wonderful legacy your mother left!

As a victor over liver cancer I’d like to go against the ‘powers that be” and encourage folks to look into alternative treatments. I had no chemo or radiation and when they went to take 1/3 to 1/2 of my liver they found no cancer there, so they clipped the tumor and sent me home.

I believe that cancer is a personal journey and finding the correct treatment is part of that journey, but the medical establishment will not tell you about alternative or complementary treatments.

My path included supplements and a wonderful invention called the Life Vessel which uses frequency to strengthen your immune system so you can heal. It was truly an amazing experience. I do not think there is a one size treatment fits all. I am sure that taking charge of your treatment – NO MATTER WHAT YOUR CHOICE – is the key to healing successfully.

My blessings to you and your family. Take your time – grief has it’s own path. My experience there is that the length of time needed to grieve is directly correlated to the depth of attachment. Have patience and be compassionate toward yourself.


Dear Mark,

May your strong Faith grant you peace in the difficult days when you miss your lovely mother’s hugs and kisses and words of wisdom and comedy.

My condolences to you Mark and your family,for a loss that always comes too soon–even knowing she’s blissfully in God’s hands now and forever.



Please accept my condolensces for and your family.
May God give you peace and rest.

You’ve been a blessing to countless people just by taking
the time to share you moms life with us.


Sam M.

Hi Mark,

Thanks for sharing your mom & her LOL stories with us.

I’m especially touched by her letting you know that you have the best parts of her and the best parts of your dad…

I am sorry for your loss Mark. Not sure what else can be said here…

Thank you for giving us a glimpse into your sweet memories of your mom Martha and being a part of her awesome legacy… YOU.

Hugs ‘n stuff.

God Bless,

Yoon Ho Ums last blog post..Happy Canada Day! 142 Years and Going Strong!

I am a West Hills resident (and may have passed you on the street). I am sorry to hear of your loss. It will take time to heal. Your eulogy was magnificent.
I want to tell you of my experience. I now am 80 years of age. I was 26 when my Dad died. When Mother died I was 41. I hadn’t lived at home for more than a few days since I was 18 and left for university. When she died, I had been married for eleven years, had two wonderful children, a nice business and a comfortable home. And yet, I suddenly felt I had “no home to go home to.” No port in a storm. It was the strangest feeling.

Now my 47 year old daughter is experiencing similar feelings after losing her mother 4 years ago and her son last October 3rd . ( Life can be tough. Be strong.

Norman Cooke

Condolences Mark.

When both my mother and father passed away I discovered how to recover. Here’s my model that you may ponder.

Standing on the beach the day of the funeral, (Dad did live on the beach), the crashing sound felt insidiously familiar to the crashing of emotions that swept me away at the oddest (not really) times–little things triggered the next wave. It came, I wept, I recomposed, I moved on.

Here’s the point.

Each day I noticed was 2-3 steps BACKWARD from the shore. Each of those steps meant I heard the crashing of those waves slightly less.

Over time, they became the distant sound. Over time the cries became less, the pain duly subsided.

Eventually and now, I can’t hear the crashes anymore…but I still know the ocean of (love) is still there and I can return at any time.

God Bless.

Paul Wagner

Our stay here is brief but mothers are angels who leave a light so that we may find our way and be reunited again someday.

Hi Mark,
I am sorry for the loss of your loved mother who did cared for you and imparted wisdom in you. The hole is big to fill but the memories will always be fresh in your heart and soul.
We are sure that our Lord Jesus will come again and that we will be caught up to Him along those who have preceded us in faith(1 Thessalonians 4:13-18) We shall see them again and be united with them and make one community of the living and the dead. This should be a wonderful comfort for you. We shall remember her in our prayers on Sunday the 5th of July, when all the New Apostolic members throughout the world will be remembering all those who have gone beyond.May the grace of God our Father be with you and your Family!

Your in Christ,

Dear Mark, I am so, so sorry to hear of your Mother’s final day on this earth. I, too, lost my Mother to cancer, but I thank God she did not suffer pain wise. I actually grew to know my Mother better in her later years than when I was younger. She was of the “old school” and didn’t feel it was appropriate to talk about “certain things,” like the heart ache she must have felt when she finally told me I had a twin when I was born. My twin was a baby girl, and when I had my first girl, Mother wanted me to name her Rosemary, which I didn’t really like the name. I didn’t find out until years later that my twin was named Rosemary. How I wish I had listened to her when she would always bring up the name Rosemary as I had 3 girls, no boys.

I also feel your Mother was very blessed in having you as a son. The tribute you wrote about her life was very touching, and I could tell it came straight from your heart. You are so right; cancer is evil and needs to be cured completely. My Mother would often say she felt there was a cure for cancer but the cure would never be revealed as thousands, if not millions, of people would lose their jobs given the prevention and treatment of cancer is to be brutally honest, big business. I often wonder if even part of what she believed could be true . . . something to think about. Like you, life will never be the same without my Mother and Father, but Mother always said God never gives us more than we can bear, although there are times in my life, as in when my husband died of a brain tumor, I would think of what she had said and wondered if I could go on. But she was right; as I eventually learned time heals our sorrow and replaces it with the cherished memories that even death cannot take from you.

Your Mother would be so proud of you and the beautiful and thoughtful story you so generously shared with us. You will go on as life makes us go on; we have no choice. Just be happy, and I’m sure you are, that you had such a wonderful Mother as many people never experience the love of a Mother like yours and mine. She may not be in your life now, but her death can never take away the precious memories you have of her.

God Bless,

Hi, Mark,
The death of a loved one is only sad for those of us left behind. Weep not for your mother but weep for yourself and acknowledge that it is your personal loss that drives the tears.
It is no coincidence that your mother acquired a puppy (Sasha) very late in her life (or did you use ‘puppy’ as a generic term for an older dog?) and I can imagine that she would have known that this creature would have provided a continuing link back to her after she was gone.
As hard as it is, we must learn to accept that death is a part of living and that, no matter how beloved the deceased may be, death is an end and also a beginning. The end of her life on Earth and the beginning of your life on Earth as a better human being for being able to appreciate what you have lost.
I congratulate your mother for a life well lived and I wish you the reslience to accept and grow stronger using the example that was Mum.

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Oh Mark,

I’m so sorry to hear this sad news. Having lost several CLOSE friends to cancer, I can empathize with you. Yes, you will LONG to hear her voice. Keep a copy of her voice recording close by. It will help. It has helped for me to keep precious mementos close, too.

Please know that I am thinking of you and your family’s loss. And wishing that something immediate could ease the pain that only time and understanding can ease.

Yours in spirit
Debra Sale Wendler

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Please accept my condolonces to you and your family.

To lost a mother is a painful thing that no one can fill that gap, May her soul Rest In Peace.

Its nice that you had a loving mother and she was great and proud of you.

I noticed that I have not been getting Emails from you.

God Bless


I am so very sorry for your loss. My Dad died in May and reading your eulogy has had me in floods of tears.
So many things around us remind us of the silliest of things, long forgotten and then brought to the forefront of our mind as if it happened yesterday.
Take care and don’t forget to allow yourself to grieve, I think I shed a few tears every day, at the moment, as things come to mind. So sad but thats as it should be.
If we didn’t care we wouldn’t be effected by the death of a loved one and this lady was so loved. It shines through your writing like a beacon.

My condolences to you Mark!

I was getting worried because I didn’t hear from you for a long time. Now I understand why. But please take all the time you need. You might get some rest first, as it must have been a stressfull time.

Take care,


dear mark
I so sorry for your family and you
my sincere condolences to you
I know how deep the sorrow goes-on.
‘BE STRENGTH MARK” you had our support to continue your ways
Keep faith you will have so much blessing
We wait for your come back

Wow Mark. You were blessed to have such a fine lady in your life. What a great sense of humor! My thoughts are with you and your family. That Costco story had me laughing out loud. Take care and take your time.

Dear Mark:

As I wrote to you separately, we have both lost someone on June 27. My children have lost their father and I, a business partner and true friend. The way you have reached out to us on your list is a testament to your mom, that she has taught you the importance of connection, kinship, extended family, and the importance of accepting a hand as well as offering one.

Thank you for sharing your heart. It has helped me in my time of grief, and I appreciate your having done it.

I have also posted a few words about the person who is no longer in my life. Even in his passing, he has mentored me by making me realize that his way corporate tai chi. I am still seeking refuge or vision to post something more personal.

Thank you for suggesting we make even the smallest contribution in your mother’s name to Phase One Foundation. I am honored to be part of this research.

Dear Mark:

As I wrote to you separately, we have both lost someone on June 27. My children have lost their father and I, a business partner and true friend. The way you have reached out to us on your list is a testament to your mom, that she has taught you the importance of connection, kinship, extended family, and the importance of accepting a hand as well as offering one.

Thank you for sharing your heart. It has helped me in my time of grief, and I appreciate your having done it.

I have also posted a few words about the person who is no longer in my life. Even in his passing, he has mentored me by making me realize that his way corporate tai chi. I am still seeking refuge or vision to post something more personal.

Thank you for suggesting we make even the smallest contribution in your mother’s name to Phase One Foundation. I am honored to be part of this research.

Strength and Gratitude,


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We are so sorry to hear of your Mothers’ passing. We are sending up prayers for you and your family’s comfort. While you explain how blessed you were to have her as your family’s catalyst, and a wonderful one as well, I can see she has endowed you with some gifts of your own! And most importantly you are not wasting them. We pray for the peace of Jerusalem daily! Live and be well! Take care and remember we are praying for you all. Hank

Dear Mark,
My most deepest candolences at the loss of your Mom. Thank you so much for sharing your eulogy that exemplifies the loving memories that will always be part of your life. I am very close to my Mom, an only son who cannot for one moment imagine what it would be like without her. How do you replace a heartbeat that has brought you so much joy and love and who has always been there for you? I know that one day my Mom will no longer be here. This makes me sad bringing tears to my eyes and then I realize the gift of her love will always be with me. For now I tell her I love her every day and do all I can to make her life a blessing as she has made mine.

May the blessings of your Mom bring comfort to you and your family and lift your sadness with the gift of her love that will always be part of your life.

Blessings Always,


Hello Mark,

Life has its more memorable moments – even in death.

Like any moment, it’s what we make and take from it …to give on to others that matters.

For that is a crucial part of what makes us and our friends and families cherish-able.

Passing it on, or around, is part of this giving.

To say “I’m sorry” is an habitual way for saying: “I care” without more words to convey other more deeper feelings such as you have done.

Some of us are unable to say more only because we have let our selves become a slave to saying only: “I’m sorry.”

So… I will say “I’m glad!” Glad? Yes, glad …that you had a mom you loved so deeply. And, more glad you had the life with her you did.

Not all of us are so fortunate.

So, thank you for passing along what you saw in her.

In so doing, you’ve made it like poetry – rendering the moment in time to transcend our own moms – or lack or moms.

And in so doing, it helps to give better insight to our own selves as mothers and fathers to our own children that we come into contact daily – be them ours or our neighbor’s.

Yes, thank you for sharing your gift of writing along with the memorable moments of your mom.

Not everyone has those experiences. And for those of us that don’t, we can only imagine and look at yours …to help us with our own children.

Thank you Mark, for sharing Mark.

My heart goes out to you and your family at your time of loss. Thank you for sharing this very private, yet beautiful writing. I was moved by it and made me think of my own mother. My mother has beat cancer 2 times. I am fortunate to still have her in my life. Thank you again.

My heart and thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. Thanks for all your help in the past and i know I will benefit from more in the future. take this time to do what you need. We will be here when you get back. i lost my mom a few years ago and I know how much I still miss her. But we are very fortunate to have had wonderful mothers for as long as we did. God bless you and your family.

Mark, u no doubt loved your mother deeply, u are blessed, she seems like a wonderful individual, I say is, because she is with u, in spirit, as I said in a personal message to u from my hotmail mail, love endures ALL things!!!Hold on to that through the hard times. Blessings to u, and yours, Cecilia Corne’

Oh Mark, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I’m afraid I don’t have anything more profound to say except you have my deepest sympathy from someone who lost her father’s daughter and a husband to cancer. God Bless you. I had actually come here from a very old email to thank you for some tips. Thanks for sharing your Mother with us.

Hi Mark,

I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. Your letter to her touched me and made me even more thankful for my mom. We are the lucky ones, to have such close ties and mutual respect with loving parents.

The loss is just not easy and no words can assuage it.

Grief is the compliment we pay to those who pass. Gratitude is the gift we give in their memory. You’ve done magnificently with both.

You were missed too. Though I’m on plenty of mailing lists, I noticed your absence and was about to check with you via email.

I look forward to another lunch/dinner with you. Please let me know when you are in Las Vegas again.

All the best,


Hello Mark,

Albeit late, please know that your MOM is in a much better place than here, as the scriptures say, that she is with the Lord.

With kind regards always,


Martha and Me
Merrill Joan Gerber

Martha and I were best friends in high school, the kind of friends who were constantly on the phone with each other and talking in school to each other, and eating meals with each other, although I ate at her house more often because her mother was a wonderful cook and always had delicious and special foods at their house. Martha’s parents had a business in Cuba, and were often away, and Martha and her beautiful little sister, Betsy, had a good amount of freedom. I remember that we played The Student Prince album over and over–we loved the to hear Mario Lanza sing those romantic songs and we dreamed of our own romances.

Martha had a car, a blue and white Chevrolet, and sometimes she drove me to school and saved me from taking the school bus.

We “double dated”–I with Joe Spiro, whom I adored and Martha with one or another of the nice young men from Miami Beach high school. A date in those days for us consisted of our having hot fudge sundaes at some diner, and then choosing a fancy hotel on the beach. We’d go through the lobby and out the back to the pool area, where there were cabanas, and beach chairs. The four of us would sit quietly, staring at the moon dancing over the ocean, and we dreamed whatever dreams we had then, of our futures which would be wonderful and full of love. Now and then some kissing might ensue, but it was virtuous and sweet.

After graduation, Martha went away to college in Wisconsin and I to the University of Florida. We always wrote to each other, long letters full of confidences. Somehow life parted us and brought us together again. Somehow she moved to California, and so did I. The first time we visited in Los Angeles, each of us had a baby girl. When we arrived at Martha’s house, she saw me coming up the steps with my daughter Becky in my arms, and she cried out, “Look what you have!” And I looked at the beautiful baby Michele in her arms, and replied, “And look what you have!” It was a moment of such bliss!
It meant we had fallen in love, we had married, it meant we had had babies, it meant the things had come to pass that we worried in high school might never come to pass. I married the boy we double dated with, Joe Spiro, and last week was our 49th wedding anniversary. Martha and I could be apart even for a year or two, and then, when we met, simply we resumed our old intimacy without a missed beat. We simply loved each other, always and forever.

We never dreamed life could deal us such a bitter blow as was dealt to her in the last month.
“My life is upside down,” she wrote to me in an e mail.

I called her at once, and she was so very tired she could hardly speak to me on the phone.
I asked her if I could come to visit, and she said no. She had to lie down as we talked. “I’m just so tired,” she said.

So Martha has now gone on a journey before me, she’s made a passage to some kind of peace we are all destined for. As Mario Lanza used to sing, “Beloved, with all my heart I love you…”
That’s how I feel about Martha.

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