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What’s wrong with this page?

Wow, there was a big response to my offer to help you with your web pages. You’ll remember that I gave you a free membership to the Optimizers Club (http://www.OptimizersClub.com) so you could get some new ideas to improve your website. I was a bit surprised at the response, but probably not in the way […]

Wow, there was a big response to my offer to help you with your web pages. You’ll remember that I gave you a free membership to the Optimizers Club (http://www.OptimizersClub.com) so you could get some new ideas to improve your website.

I was a bit surprised at the response, but probably not in the way you might expect.

Yes, there were a lot of really bad web pages (you’ll see one in a minute, link is below). But there were also a surprisingly high number of already-good ones.

What made them good?

  • A strong headline that made me want to read more.
  • A convincing subhead that told me more about what the site was about, and made me want to read the body copy.
  • Text that spoke to me as a person, rather than me as a group.
  • The site looked good, was well organized, and easy to look at.
  • I knew exactly what to do once I got there.

When you get to that level, you might think that the Optimization work is over. But it’s at exactly this point that the little tweaks have big, often huge effects on your profitability. That’s because once you are in the black, the extra money you make is pure profit….and that’s always a good thing.

On the other hand, when your squeeze page is bad — when it really sucks — you have to fight just to avoid going out of business.

Both situations are, as I see them, urgent. If you’re in the second (money losing) group, it’s your job to get to profitability. If you’re in the profitable group, it’s your job to multiply that profit.

I got a comment on the Optimizers Club blog last week from someone who is making that move right now.

After only 2 days with the Optimizer’s Club and already I have transformed my capture page into a higher converting page with the tips from the members here! What a fantastic idea! Thanks for this great site!

I’m glad he’s on the right track.

But let’s have some fun. Here’s someone who hasn’t made that leap to a high-converting site yet (I should say, I’d BET he hasn’t, because I haven’t talked about this page with the site’s owner). Let’s look at a page that I think is absolutely HORRIBLE.

Now, I’ve got about 8 different things that are just plain BAD about this page, but before I give you my ideas, let’s get yours first.

Take a look at this page and tell me what you think:

http://www.optimizersclub.com/reviewmysite/0-400-468-9

Click that link, and then tell me what you think are the problems with this page. I’ll publish the best comments here in a couple of days.

To Your Success,

–Mark Widawer

5 replies on “What’s wrong with this page?”

Hi!
-The company’s name takes a lot of the place above the fold. If any, this should do the Headline.
– The headline is incredibly negative (It is ok to put a problem-oriented headline, but who has ever been prevented from getting bank loans by bad credit, no collateral AND bankruptcy?
– No use of vivid imagery with the customer included: “Next time You are sitting at the desk of your banker, You will be negotiating from a rock solid position of strength.”
– Where is the proof? I, as a prospect, wonder whether this may be a scam.
Neither testimonials? Nor any seal of an authority organization I can trust?
No third pary press report?
– Wording: You’ll learn (who likes learning? it is an absolute taboo word), instead: Discover…
-Link name not good for SEO (no keyword in it)
-write some blind bullets that make the prospect’s mouth watering to get more information about the 11 different ways…
– optional: create a sense of urgency (interest rates might rise, any new governmental regulations imminent…)

VERY nicely said, Martina.
I hope you also posted those responses on the form you’ll find after following that link.
Optimizers Club lets you type your feedback on the very same page, and that’s how the owner of that page will learn of your responses.
I’d say you’re spot on with just about everything, though.
–Mark

Hey Mark,

I offer my top 10 feedback on improving the site you listed in your post.

1. The black/grey background and lighter colored text makes it hard for me to read. Make it white with black text. Red headline.
2. The Use Of Capitals Is Distracting. Use sentence case except perhaps the headline.
3. The GetMeFunding button is not really prominent. Make it bigger and centered under the email field.
4. It is hosted on Weebly – a free web building system. Get a real web host with a relevant domain name.
5. There is a home button that points to the page you’re already on. Remove it.
6. The image is not compelling or particularly relevant. Find a better graphic that will appeal to the intended audience.
7. There isn’t any clear description of what I’ll get if I sign up. Clearly state whether its an ebook, report, sales letter, 18 part email series, etc.
8. Too many text colors. Maintain a consistent text color – white preferred with one or two highlight colors only where absolutely necessary.
9. The asterisk beside the word “Email” is in red and seems to indicate that a special condition applies. I am thinking that the website author wants to indicate that it is a compulsory field. Well … it is the only field! My suggestion – make it the same color as the “Email” text – black recommended.
10. Include a promise that the email will only be used for sending the promised materials and for no other purpose.

Cheers, Michael.

PS. I have submitted these with the online form.
.-= Michael Pedzotti´s last blog ..Is Site Build It SBI right for you =-.

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